Celebrate the Losses of 2022

The game came down to the last seconds.

Down by three, we scored on a layup. Now a 1-point game. And then, it was over. A narrow 1-point loss in the championship game for our middle school boys team.

One started crying, then another. It caught on like something infectious and suddenly parents were tearing up as well. As one of the coaches for the team, I wondered what we could have done differently. I questioned what coaching decisions we could have made that would have changed the outcome.

I also realized the incredible opportunity that losing gives us. In middle-school basketball. In life.

It was only with the loss that we saw how much the players really cared about each other and their team. I had never seen middle school boys hug like that!

The following day, I had another realization. The two teams were basically equal, as evidenced by the final score. However, the winning team, trophy in hand, walks away with very little introspection about how they can improve. Human nature is such that when we win, we don’t think that way.

On the other side, our team is a group of coaches and players asking what we did wrong, what we would do different, and how we can get better. There is a fire to become a better player/coach thanks to the 1-point differential where we were on the losing side.

It is a gift that comes with our losses – the desire to learn how we can improve and grow.

I share this today, as we naturally turn toward the year that was and look at what we learned. Celebrate the wins of 2022, absolutely. But take some time to look at the losses as well, as that is where the gifts of learning and growth are to be found. Take time to dissect how losses this year have made you a better person. You may discover a few losses that were so painful that you never took the time to see how you could use them for a positive purpose; if so, do that now.

A simple exercise you can try as well:

1        * List 3 important losses from 2022

          * As you look at these together, now write about what these losses have taught you and how they make you a stronger, better person.

Happy holidays to everyone!

                                                In health,

                                                (Proud) Losing Coach Anthony

50k Wisdom

I had the chance to run for hours and hours this past weekend in one of my favorite places on earth, the Bosque of our beautiful Albuquerque. I actually paid money to do a 50 kilometer race. Probably sounds crazy to many of you, and I would agree that it is.

You have a lot of time to talk with yourself in 30+ miles of trail running, and I reflect that a lot of this banter is actually filled with life wisdom. So, I have a few of the thoughts that were a part of my conversation in those hours below.

I hope they provide meaning and inspiration. I hope they raise some good questions for you.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling down? High-five someone else.

Feeling depleted? Keep moving. You might feel better in an hour.

Feeling tired? Set your sight on what is directly ahead and don’t worry about anything else. (By the way, what did you expect when you signed up for this?? To not feel tired?? End of conversation.)

Want to quit? Okay, go for it. But what does that accomplish? Will you be happy with that decision tomorrow?

Each of us has our own race to run.

Forget about winning or losing, and instead focus on digging for the best effort you can give.

Smile often. Embrace the beauty, the misery, and all in between.

Run for those who can’t.

Time is meaningless. How we spent the time is what matters (Feels strange to write that one as a competitive runner. What if there was a way at the finish to determine who enjoyed themselves the most out on the course, and that determined the winner, not who finished first)

When your mind tells you “Let’s walk” gently tell it back “Let’s run”

A pic of my amazing family who came out to support me in the endeavor

Gratitude

Appreciation

beckons

colorful harmony

gratitude’s song

                                2

                                                wave

                                                waft

                                                thru

                                                heart

                                                strings

notes

        2

notice

                                                gifts

                                                grandeur

                                                given

                                                daily

Today’s gift,

the

present

                        presents

                        precisely

what we need but cannot buy or hoard or capture on Snapchat

 

            Presence

            in the

            Present

            is the

                        Present

                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week, allow life to slow amidst the food and gatherings, that 

gratitude fills the space you have created.

The Leaf's Journey

“Change is not about loss. Change is about growth.”

That statement was gifted to me recently, amidst the trees doing their beautiful fall thing, changing with vibrant grace.

The leaf worked so hard to emerge six months ago, a green sprout of life painted onto a colorless canvas that was emerging from winter’s grasp.

That same leaf worked day after day to absorb sunlight. It was proud carrier of chlorophyll that photosynthesized tirelessly to bring life to the tree.

Now, with mysterious cues from nature, it has begun their leaf journey to fall from the branch they have so bonded with. But not before a brilliant splash of yellow/orange/red graces their surface, a farewell parting gift to us all.

The leaf is put in a precarious position, is it not? Here it had purpose, life-sustaining reason for being. It had a community of leaves that it had become accustomed to seeing each day. It had a branch with whom a symbiotic bond was formed. Now, with the right wind at the right angle, it is at risk of falling into uncertainty. Doest the leaf shake with fear at the thought?

Change is not about loss. Change is about growth.

The leaf we see falling as we pass through its path is guiding and teaching us. It knows that it is time to fall from branch and tree, its community for the last months. The leaf knows that their self-identity as a photosynthesizer must evolve into now giving in a different way.

First, by allowing the right wind at the right angle to lift it gently by the stem so that it may journey toward Mother Earth.

It shouts with joy as it flutters and flips downward.

Through this humbling journey will it realize its growth into an element that can magically give life anew. As it finds a gentle resting spot upon the ground, it sighs and can finally relax after months of hard work.

It’s job is now is to rest and allow nature to decompose its energy into new life.

Humans call the leaf at this stage “fertilizer”.

The leaf smiles back.

It prefers to call this next phase “life reimagined”.

The Centennial Edition!

For blog #100, I asked readers to share what writing to heal means to them in 100 words or less. Thank you Lindy, Jerome and Kim. Your words are a gift to all of us! And thank you to every person who has supported this journey, and in that support, who has supported me. 

I coupled the words below with a musical piece, "Weaving" by Connor Chee. I recommend playing his piece while you read the words below.

~~~~~~~~~~

Writing to Heal to me means writing from the soul.  Journaling is

a way to cope,

a way to address sorrow

a way to remember joy

a way to focus on wonderful memories and ongoing love. 

Without journaling, some of these thoughts would stay locked inside and perhaps overlooked, forgotten or even repressed. 

Writing to heal is indeed that; a process the involves healing and growing with new strengths discovered.

~~~~~~~~~~

Writing to Heal means finding whichever artistic medium speaks to us and using it to uncover and understand the truths of the world. If we all took the time to do this in a genuine way geared towards discovery and growth, we could end up healthier and happier as a society. Much of the division around is comes from each person living in their own silo of self-truth and we often forget to truly listen and empathize with the others who have different views.

 

My challenge to myself and all of us… 

Let’s listen to each other in a non-judgmental way.

Let’s accept that diversity of viewpoints is actually an asset and we don’t need to convince everyone to think like we do.  

In this same direction, we can use writing and the various arts as ways to express, share and grow together. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Writing to heal provides a moment to reflect on current events without biased judgement, to focus on amazingly strong individuals and their contributions to our society.

Writing to heal is a reminder that humanity can be about love, compassion and respect, or simply the quiet reflection on movement or nature and the lessons we learn from all of this.

Writing to heal reminds me of the good that remains in this world and that I am part of a beautiful larger community.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

writing

2

heal all that ails mind, soul, and spirit.

one pen-stroke at a time

we place words gently upon a paper, a simple act

of love

of resilience

of testifying

“I am”

“We are”

“Beauty is restored”

Life wisdom from the tomato garden

I needed a moment of quiet, and thus found myself in our garden amidst cherry tomato madness.

I picked, ate a few, put a few others into bowls.

I listened to what the tomato garden has to teach us - here is what I heard:

Life is more abundant than we give it credit for.

Life is calmer and quieter than we notice.

Nature is never in a hurry, yet everything is accomplished. (Tomatoes helped me remember this one from Lao Tzu).

Even when you think there is nothing left to harvest, there are always hidden treasures just out of view.

Sweetness from the vine speaks to the soul (in a way that processed foods/sugars do not).

It's not how many you pick, but how fully you appreciate the moments spent picking.

The strong smell of the tomato vine and bites from the mosquitos can distract our gaze from the fruit of life. Maybe they are there to strengthen our resolve...

Even if a few accidentally fall into your mouth, instead of into the bowl you were sent outside to fill, no one needs to know. (Wipe your mouth before going inside)

We meticulously prepare things as rectangular raised beds, but life grows un-deterred around such arbitrary confines. How we respond to this beautiful chaos, not how well we made the raised beds, determines our ability to embrace life’s gifts.

Our raised beds are barely visible amidst tomato madness

Finally, a few bits of wisdom offered by my each of my children, when asked what they think the garden teaches us:

If they don’t come off easily, that means they aren’t ready.

The green ones are sour.

You will never always get the one you most want the first time.

There is always more.

A Letter to our Pandemic Selves

“The pandemic is over.”

Those words from President Biden in a “60 Minutes” interview last week are a bit startling to all of us.

He added in that interview, “We still have a problem with Covid. We’re still doing a lot of work on it. But the pandemic is over.”

I am less interested in debating the science or politics of this proclamation, and more focused on what that means for you and me to say the pandemic is in our rear-view mirror.

Are we ready to let go of a pandemic mindset?

And what does ‘letting go’ actually mean?

How has the pandemic affected our connections with those around us?

Are there habits we have learned in the pandemic that we now need to un-learn in a post-pandemic world?

                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I decided to write a letter to “Pandemic Anthony” as a way to answer some of these questions, and I encourage you to do the same for yourself.

 

Pandemic Anthony,

        I am waving good-bye. Thanks for 2+ years in which you did the best you could to make sense of it all, trying to live fully even when COVID made that really challenging. I bet you remember when even running on the ditches became a game of avoidance as people went out of their way to move far away from one another. Do you remember getting yelled at for violating folks’ 6-foot bubble as you passed them on the trails, wearing a mask and all? I am sure all of this did affect you and now, as we wave goodbye to you, it is a chance to try to notice how to re-engage fully. I know this has affected whether I give hugs or am open to receiving them. I know it has turned a part of me into being wary of being in close proximity with others, but I now need to push that comfort zone and not let this become an excuse to dis-connect.

Post-Pandemic Anthony will need to do this with care for others, knowing that all of us carry trauma from the last years that is going to change how we interact with one another in the next years. Where is that space for us to have conversations about how COVID has affected us and how to navigate these changes, how to heal together? How is Post-Pandemic Anthony going to create space for himself, with his family and with his community to do this vital healing work? Wait, I thought I was supposed to be answering questions, not asking them…

Pandemic Anthony, I want to share gratitude and love before I let you go. I could look at you and these years as “lost” but that would ignore all of the good you helped bring to my life. I want to validate the ways you stood strong and donned PPE to serve COVID patients. I appreciate the efforts you made to create community in a new landscape, never letting go of the importance of bringing people together, virtual or otherwise. I honor the loss you and the rest of humanity endured during COVID.

I need to love you Pandemic Anthony, and will make time and space to do so. I know that this is the only way to let you go and to begin the next journey.

With Love,

Post-Pandemic Anthony

Fun with Inedible Berries

The neighborhood children, including a few of my own, went on a bike ride. A chance for them to play together amidst our busy lives where neighbors whiz by each other, interactions limited to waving from the car to one another.

I was deemed responsible enough to chaperone the trip.

We voted on where to go and they decided we should head to the park.

We arrived, parking our bikes at the playground area of the park.

I knew my role as a chaperone. I was to leave them alone to play, now that my part of transporting them here was complete.

I sat and took a few deep breaths, wondering if we were now at the age where playgrounds would cease to provide the joyful exploration they had when these kids were younger.

I looked up to see that the children had another idea entirely.

They were huddled next to a tree with inedible berries, spontaneously creating a game in which they would each have 5 lives and would try to hit each other with the berries. Eat hit took away a life. Influenced by video games? Probably. In my mind, it was like paintball without the messiness.

For the next 30 minutes, I watched as the game progressed. Additional rules were proposed. The group figured out how to include many different age and athletic levels to have a fair shot at winning. They grumbled when I said it was time to go home. As a chaperone, ending the fun is one of your core duties.

Even though we shower our children with technology and all sorts of gadgets, their imaginations remain their best tool for play. Give a child dirt, sand, a stick, or some inedible berries and they naturally go to work making play happen.

Adults, here is our mission today, taking the kids’ lead:

1) Get to a park or similarly serene place, leaving your phone and all other technology behind.

2) Find inedible berries or something else that you can enjoy as a kid would – feel its texture, look at its fine details

3) (Optional) Gather random adults within earshot and propose the game of “throw the berries at each other”

Arlene's Journey

Writing as a way to process

Writing as a way to create community.

Writing as a way to speak truths.

Writing as a way to speak our own truth.

Writing to heal.

 

The journey has been a beautiful one, 30 months long. With a group of people who have created their own space through this blog. A few contemplating writing their own books as a result.

Our sister Arlene Espinoza-Armijo invoked the Writing to Heal energy in a heartfelt post last week. To me, it was a moment that made me realize that the larger purpose for this project and blog is to inspire others to find space of their own. To empower others to find their voice and then use it. And today is a chance for me to step aside and let her voice ring through this medium.

Arlene and her husband Jesse are an amazing couple who serve our ABQ community relentlessly, have been trying to have a child for some time. Let me stop there, and instead let Arlene’s words do the talking…show your love and support by posting a comment on the blog!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This past month has been one of the hardest, most revealing, and affirming months ever. I celebrated a birthday, I launched new products into the world with my business partner, created events, traveled, spent time with amazing humans and heard their stories, watched my nieces and nephews grow and play sports, ran a ton of miles, and @jessearmijo & I experienced a miscarriage.

We have been fighting to grow our family for what feels like an eternity now and like so many #fertility stories ours hit a bump and left me feeling like I might not get up this time. I’ve grappled with sharing this so publicly for a while now, but as we’ve navigated the rocky terrain of grief, I’ve realized, that these types of stories need to be shared. We need to normalize talking about #fertility & #miscarriages & #grief & #therapy with our families, friends, and community. And not gloss over it or pay attention to these real-life realities when a celebrity shares their truth or when laws threaten our safety. These experiences are part of our intricate, complicated, and beautiful lives, therefore deserving of space and dialogue.

As someone who prides myself on honesty & authenticity, and lives for connection with others - I cannot hide behind the shadow of my current reality, my grief, my complicated yet abundantly beautiful life, continuing to smile and act like things are a-okay! Because that would be a lie and that would be inauthentic to who I am.

So, I am here, sharing my vulnerable truth. Hoping that in these sentences those who feel heartbroken, sad, misunderstood, and disappointed will know that your stories, your sadness, and your truth, are allowed to take up space. You don’t have to push down the hard stuff to accommodate others - feel what you need to and reach out to others for support.

Life is hard and can be messy but keep putting one foot in front of the next and breathe. I am holding space for you and me - and if you ever need a friend to sit with you in the messy parts, I am here. 🤍

All my love.
#writingtoheal

Becoming American

We arrived at the Albuquerque Convention Center on a recent Friday morning.

It was a big day for the Kandie family. Janet and Solomon are amazing people who give their energy toward our Albuquerque community – Janice as a nurse and Solomon as an IT guru who works for our city.

Both had worked diligently for over twenty years as Kenyans toward American citizenship. Janice received her citizenship a few months earlier and today was Solomon’s turn. As an accomplished marathon runner, this process was truly his biggest test of endurance.

In typical government speech, the letter to Solomon read:

Walking in, there was an incredible energy in the building.

Languages from across the world being spoken, a beautiful symphony.

Families large and small gathered to similarly mark the end of a long journey toward becoming American.

Some wore attire from their homelands proudly. Others has USA emblazoned gear.

(A funny moment was showing up to surprise Solomon dressed in African dashiki while he dressed in a suit)

I found myself filled with joy as I thought of how each of these individuals have overcome hardships; In their homelands, and right here in the U.S., each of them had to overcome so much to be here.

I thought of the amazing amount of support that each of them needed, from family to legal representation, to make this day a reality.

Solomon is waving his flag as the ceremony begins

I also faced some tough questions:

What does being American mean to me?

Why do I not feel the patriotism that these people in front of me do?

Why do I not feel as proud of my country as I once did?

If I traveled abroad, would I be proud to tell people the country I come from?

Why do I take for granted the un-earned privilege that comes with being a U.S. Citizen?

How do I use my U.S. citizenship to improve the lives of others?

 

I wonder if those questions are meaningful for you, and if so, how we go about answering them for ourselves and together.

I have reflected since that day on how I can become more positive toward my country and the un-realized ideals on which it stands. Recognizing the privileges I have as a U.S. citizen on a regular basis, thinking of people like the Kandies who work for decades just to be counted in this group.

I think my patriotism is expressed more in “we can do better” and finding out how to make it so, and for me those are more important than waving an American flag or wearing red, white and blue gear.

I am convinced that reflecting on what becoming American means for those of us who are U.S. citizens is just as relevant as it was for those in the Convention Center ceremony that day.

Friends of the family from the local running community presented a cake for the 

Kandie family later that evening. A long race was finally done/won!

Revolt Runners

342 years ago today, the most important run ever to take place in this country culminated in the Pueblo Revolt. August 10th, 1680.

This was a run for survival. It was a run to unify peoples who had been subjected to colonizer's violence.

The runners were from the Pueblos of current day New Mexico and were to run to each of the other Pueblo communities with a message that there would be a revolt against the Spanish who had inflicted violence, slavery and horrific acts over the previous 140 years since their arrival.

A cord with knots was given as they arrived, with instructions that each morning one of the knots was to be untied. When there were no further knots left, that was the day to revolt against the Spanish. Po’pay, an Ohkay Owingeh medicine man and leader previously been imprisoned by the Spanish, led what became known as the Pueblo Revolt.

Ethan Gutierrez, a youth from Sandia Pueblo, created this sculpture to honor Po'Pay.

The runners…

I think about some of the distances covered – 20, 30, 50 miles or more. Distances we now traverse in vehicles they accomplished on foot.

I think about some of these runners being youth. I imagine the strength it took and the strength they carried in their bodies, minds, and spirits.

I think of how well the runners must have known the land, their internal compass pointing the way to their destination.

I think about the risk these runners incurred by committing to the run itself. Risks of being caught, as happened to Catua and Omtua, two Tesuque youth runners who were tortured and killed after being captured on their run.

Life-size bronze statue of Catua and Omtua by former Pojoaque Pueblo Gov. George Rivera

I wonder what the runners might they have been thinking as they covered long miles. Were they in prayer during the run? Did they think of the seven Generations to come after them?

For those who are runners, honor them as you run today and this week. Run for them.

For those who work to address injustices and inequities that continue to play out colonization's aims, with Indigenous and other communities of color suffering disproportionately, honor the resistance of August 10th, 1680 as a reminder of what united and coordinated efforts to stand up for justice can achieve.

Footnotes:

The Pueblo Revolt through the eyes of youth. A beautiful spoken word piece “Po’Pay” by the Santa Fe Indian School spoken word team in 2010.

On September 22, 2005, the Po'Pay statue in the rotunda of the U.S. Congress building was unveiled. The artist, Cliff Fragua, was the first American Indian artist to have a statue placed in the Statuary Hall. The statue, slightly larger than life size, shows Po'Pay holding a knotted cord in his left hand, the signal for the initiation of the revolt. In his right hand is a bear fetish and behind him a pot, both symbolizing the Pueblo world and religion. On his back are the scars from the whipping he received as a consequence of his observing Pueblo religious ceremonies. (Source: Wikipedia)

Miracle

Ready to do some math?

Okay, I probably lost most of the potential readers with that first line but for the few sticking around, here goes:

80 beats/min x 60 min = 4800 heartbeats in an hour

4800 x 24 hours = 115,000 heartbeats in a day

115,000 x 188 days so far in 2022 = 22,000,000 heartbeats in 2022.

 

Second item – how do you define “miracle”?

One definition for miracle is this:

“a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.”

Would you define your 4800 heartbeats this hour a miracle?

If not, how about the 115,000 heartbeats that it will take to keep you alive today?

And if that still doesn’t meet your miracle quotient, does 22 million heartbeats this year make the cut?

 

My friends, we have crossed the halfway point of 2022.

Take some time in these next few days to sit quietly and contemplate the miracle of your life journey these last six months.

Give thanks for where the January – June road has taken you. Twnety-two million heartbeats – did you spend your life energy in the way(s) that you want?

Have fun as you think about where the July – December road might go. How do you want to spend these next 22 million heartbeats?

Embrace the bumps in the road as you look behind you. How did each of these strengthen you and teach you about life, about yourself?

Enjoy this moment to pause and be still.

And add two simple thoughts to your meditation:

“22,000,000”

“Miracle”

 

Reporting Live from Quarantine Land

Quarantine Land, New Mexico  – Coming to you live, from a room in my house that my wife says I can’t leave, I bring you greetings and love as we head into Inter-Dependence weekend.

There was an unexpected visitor to our house in the last week.

It was someone we had expected for awhile now. In fact, it is amazing to think that we avoided this visitor for as long as we did.

You know this entity as the nefarious co-author of the Writing to Heal blog. As much as I have tried not to focus on her over the last 2.5 years, she is definitely a big part of why I began to write. Hey, Batman wouldn’t be a hero if he didn’t have Penguin and Joker, right?

COVID has decided to visit the Fleg house.

My wife was the first to test positive for COVID a week ago.

Her body seemed to suddenly stop working. Aches and fatigue. And the isolation didn’t help either, as she had to see life going on without her.

For our family, it was a surreal moment. I had been working the front lines of COVID since the pandemic began, taking care of hospitalized patients and putting my family in COVID’s path. When you live so close to something and yet still manage to avoid it for as long as we did, you begin to dismiss it as something that will never visit your family and home.

Today, feeling a bit under the weather, I decided to take my 3^rd test of the week. As my friend Tom calls it, I took my “male pregnancy test” and indeed it was positive.  

First thoughts after testing positive:

“Yikes”

“I am going out for a run”

“Five days is a long time to isolate!”

COVID gives me a reminder around my own wellness and self-care. I had been really fatigued in hindsight the last few days. But I had reasons that allowed me to explain away my symptoms. I had neglected myself during a long clinic day, with very little fluid intake. I was definitely dehydrated. Second, I have been working so hard in the last month that I felt that the fatigue was my body’s way of saying I needed rest. When my life mimics the symptoms of a disease state, it is a moment to listen and learn.

Luckily, I have 5 days in this room to do so 😊

May your holiday weekend be a safe and joyous one. Celebrate Inter-Dependence, the profound connectedness we share with each other and with the plants/animals/planet.

Back to you in the studio, reporting live from Quarantine Land.

  

Rain is Here!

Showering love

Dampening doubt

Embracing us from all Directions

We reach up

Eyes close

Heart shouts

                                “Rain is here!”

 

¡Escucha! (¡Listen!)

Do you hear our plant relatives singing songs of joy?

For three months they stood tall with faith that this day would come.

They drink with elation.

 

¡Mira! (!Look!)

Do you see the puddles and trickles, hurrying to make it to the river bed that flows once again.

They flow with elation.

 

¡Respira! (¡Breathe!)

Take a deep breath of healing humidity, watching it cover our

Parched

Dry

Cracked

                Airways

                Highways to our sacred space

Absorb the moisture as it embraces you

Drink with elation!

 

¡Despacio! (¡Slow down!)

The rain meditation beckons

    a slow down

                             a re-balancing

                              a pause + reset

as we slow

we renew

as we renew

we heal

 

¡Juega! (¡Play!)

All of this – the listening, looking, breathing, and slowing down – has led us back to the child within

Smile wide 

as you splash puddles of joy

as we splash each other

as love splashes us

                                one drop

                                                    at

                                                                a time.

Thank you to the UNM Curandismo Class that provided the loving environment that allowed today's piece to be birthed. ¡Olmateottl!

Patients Treating Their Doc with Wit and Humor

“My get up and go got up and went.”

I smiled as my patient tried to describe their struggles against fatigue.

I have not written much about the people I get a chance to take care of as a primary care physician, but they continue to inspire, teach, and give to me, one visit at a time.

And when I get handed a jewel like this comment above, those are moments to push all other agenda items aside and smile and laugh together. Moments where division between “patient” and “doctor” dissolve. I have a few other good ones to share with you today.

 

We were talking about his enlarged prostate. I wanted to know how he was doing.

“Let me put it this way. I can no longer write my name in the snow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

The gentleman was dealing with homelessness. He was living in his car and I wanted to check in to see if he had found a safe place for parking the car at night. I asked, “Where is your home right now?” He paused, and with a sly smile said, “It is in the parking lot outside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lauretta, what is your advice for younger people to stay healthy?

“Get some sheep and follow them around.”

The elder described further, “That was our way of life, and the sheep kept me active and away from health problems.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sir, your diabetes has really gotten out of control over these winter months.

“Doc, I am Bear Clan. I hibernated.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quote from a person who was over a year into sobriety from alcohol.

“I look forward to things in life right now. I used to think, “I will do those things when I am older” and would just keep drinking. But then “older” came and went, and I came close to death.

One of the things I am excited to do is to go into the prisons and start running the AA group there. I am going to prison, but the right way!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, if you are someone I get the honor of taking care of as a physician, this piece is for you. It is a way of saying thank you. I hope that I show it with every interaction, without need for words. 

And for moments where I fall short, I ask for your understanding and patience. 

In those instances, it might just be that….my get up and go got up and went 😊

Stop Thinking! Start Praying!

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

I had become quite fatigued, only a few miles into the Run to Break the Silence that was held this past Sunday. The course was challenging indeed – we ran on the foothills trails of Sandia Pueblo with lots of ups and downs. Very few flat sections.

The issue with my fatigue was that I had entered the half marathon. So, at the time I started to think of how nice it would be to go collapse on the side of the road and just cheer on other runners, I had about 9 of the 13 miles still to complete.

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

I said this softly at first. I repeated it a few more times. I began to listen to what I was saying. Within a few minutes, I began to actually practice it.

Now, as I made this switch I had not yet begun the 4+ miles of unrelenting uphill in the race. But I wasn’t thinking anymore as I turned into this section.

I was praying.

I prayed for ones who have crossed over. My dear friend Allen who passed in this last week. 

I prayed for those on healing journeys - Loren, Carrie, and my patients.

I put prayers for Feast Day toward the Sandia Pueblo community.

I began to take in the beauty of the foothills and Sandias. I began to feel the sacred sites that were around us as we ran. I took in the energy of the Ancestors who had lived and prayed and run on this same land.

I gave thanks for being able to move. As the race was to support a school for deaf children, I took in with extra attention the things I was hearing. A gift often taken for granted.

I began to repeat a hip hop line from Black Thought as we kept climbing – “Don’t mistake a mountain for an obstacle.”

Before I knew it, 8 of the 9 miles has passed behind me and my prayers. The finishing stretch was in front of me.

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When today gives you an “uphill” moment, try this out yourself:

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

Doesn’t matter how steep or long the uphill. Whatever your spiritual path, whatever the language in which you feel comfortable giving thanks, try it.

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!