The game came down to the last seconds.
Down by three, we scored on a layup. Now a 1-point game. And
then, it was over. A narrow 1-point loss in the championship game for our
middle school boys team.
One started crying, then another. It caught on like
something infectious and suddenly parents were tearing up as well. As one of
the coaches for the team, I wondered what we could have done differently. I questioned
what coaching decisions we could have made that would have changed the outcome.
I also realized the incredible opportunity that losing gives
us. In middle-school basketball. In life.
It was only with the loss that we saw how much the players
really cared about each other and their team. I had never seen middle school
boys hug like that!
The following day, I had another realization. The two teams
were basically equal, as evidenced by the final score. However, the winning
team, trophy in hand, walks away with very little introspection about how they
can improve. Human nature is such that when we win, we don’t think that way.
On the other side, our team is a group of coaches and
players asking what we did wrong, what we would do different, and how we can
get better. There is a fire to become a better player/coach thanks to the 1-point differential where we
were on the losing side.
It is a gift that comes with our losses – the desire to
learn how we can improve and grow.
I share this today, as we naturally turn toward the year
that was and look at what we learned. Celebrate the wins of 2022, absolutely. But
take some time to look at the losses as well, as that is where the gifts of
learning and growth are to be found. Take time to dissect how losses this year
have made you a better person. You may discover a few losses that were so
painful that you never took the time to see how you could use them for a
positive purpose; if so, do that now.
A simple exercise you can try as well:
1 * List 3 important losses from 2022
* As you look at these together, now write about what these losses have taught you and how they make you a stronger, better person.
Happy holidays to everyone!
In health,
(Proud) Losing Coach Anthony
