Creating Community

There are days when I am saddened by the impersonal, self-centered, disconnected world we have created. With AI, and our inability to tell whether the person answering the phone or email is a human or a bot, it will only get more challenging.

On my walks and runs, I am now often greeted by “Hello” and turn my head in excitement, only to realize it is someone’s security system saying to all passer-by’s “Hello, you are being recorded.”

Not exactly the best way to build community, huh?

But, I also see the other side.

My neighbor Cathi whose chickens lay nice eggs that I then buy from her.

My neighbor Roger who sprinkled us with water from the hose on a recent run by his house.

My neighbors Tim and Jessica who let me pick fruit from their trees.

The Sanchez family who actually thank me for picking their cherries. “It should be me thanking you,” I always respond.

The folks with amazing grapes along the ditch who came out to see what I was doing, and instead of yelling at me, offered me bags to collect the grapes in.

[Yes, I really love picking fruit. “I am a forager, not a grower,” I tell folks.]

And then there was the recent visit to Gyros Mediterranean where they insisted on some baklava on the house just because I coached the owner’s daughter.

[Yes, the larger theme here is that Anthony loves free food]

And in my recent health challenges, the multitude of people who have showered my family and me with kindness on a daily basis.

So, as I take it all in, here are my thoughts:

If we value community, we have to do the work to create it.  Contributing to and serving our relatives, our neighbors, and even the strangers in our midst. Receiving from them in return.

Increasingly, this requires us to go against the grain of tech-infatuated society. It requires us to resist tantalizing things offered to us, always with a promise of making our life easier. Yes, but at what cost? And is the easy life a fulfilled one?

And for those who read these words and feel the same frustration I feel when tricked by the electronic security systems offering me a threatening “hello”, maybe the key to creating community is closer and simpler than you think.

Maybe it is going to say hello to the new person who just moved in down the street.

Maybe it is offering some fruit to a passer-by.

Maybe it is the random act of kindness for a loved one that you are going to do today.

Love to each of you this Monday!

And momma, a very happy birthday to you today. You are an amazing guiding light in my life. Everything I write and do is a reflection of you.

Graduation Day!

Nizhoni,

This is daddy here, writing to tell you how proud mom and me and all of these people reading this blog are of you.

You are crossing the stage this evening and will become a graduate of Albuquerque High School. You will soon enter into the next chapter in your education at Colorado University-Boulder. Ayani' (buffalo) is a sacred animal and as the mascot of CU-Boulder, you are in good hands. Thanks for not choosing a school too far away.

I am really proud of who you are as a young Dine' woman, a person with high morals and faith. You are a go-getter, and have excelled in many arenas during these last years. I expect even more flowers to blossom in these years ahead.

But really? You are already graduating? Why so soon?

You arrived 2 months into Shannon and me moving across the country to start life in New Mexico. I was a resident and would make sure to have you and momma up for dinner each evening on my 30 hour shifts, knowing that it would brighten all of our days.

I love you Nizhoni. Ayo'nishnii. 

Continue to walk that beautiful path toward Allah/Creator in humility, with gratitude, and full of joy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For everyone who has helped raise our daughter, as it takes a village and you are that village, a huge hug to each of you. And if you are also celebrating a graduate this season, I hope Shannon and I have been that same support for your child's journey.

p.s. I think back to another blog I once curated of my 1st experiences with you. Sorry in advance for any embarrassment these pics might cause. Not really - they are worth sharing.

https://nizhonirose.blogspot.com/2008/

Joy

 

Joy walked into the exam room today.

More of a run, actually.

Gave me a big hug.

And let me listen to her big girl heart.

Forgotten were my worries, fears and anxieties.

No longer was the mental “to-do” list playing over and over.

Regrets from yesterday and worries about tomorrow evaporated.

Joy took over and I succumbed.

I played and did silly 3-year-old things.

I don’t regret a moment of it.

 

Has joy knocked on your door yet today?

And when she does, will you answer it?

Push aside yesterday and let go of tomorrow.

Let joy be your today.

Lucca and Ben, thank you for bringing joy to me in the form of your daughter Noemi. 

And to Noemi, keeping radiating that joy for the world to see and feel.

Weaving

at the footsteps of her journey 

into rug’s world and life’s magic

offering prayer

shouting “Stoodis”

she

pulls

tugs

straightens

pushes

pulls

combs

tightens

weaving 

              beauty

  healing

  love

 into existence

and so it is.

and so it was.

and so it shall be.

A piece inspired by Connor Chee's "Weaving" video starring weaver Ramona Keoni. Mr. Chee is a classical pianist who has Indigenized this form of music. He will take traditional Dine' songs and make them into classical pieces. 

I invite you to watch the video today and write your own piece, with words/song/prayer/etc. By the way "Stoodis" is Native slang for "Let's do this."

Random Acts of Kindness Day

I proclaim today as the Random Acts of Kindness Day.

May you be on the receiving end of at least one.

But, alas, we are less in control of that, right? Beyond being vigilant not to miss those gifts, we can’t really control what others will do for us.

May you be on the giving end of a multitude of random acts of kindness this fine, beautiful day.

This one, my friends, is absolutely in our control.

Open that door for the stranger.

Go out of your way to gift something to a cashier, a bank teller, someone panhandling, etc.

Put good energy toward a friend who is struggling. And add all of those struggling to your wish before your blow it into the wind.

Warning: Side effects to giving random acts of kindness may include joy, connection, high levels of oxytocin, big smiles.

Talk to your doctor if you feel that such gifting may pose a serious threat to your health. (Ahh, Dr. Fleg has reviewed your files and finds you to be in perfect shape for giving today.)

And my friends, I would be remiss if I did not include a reminder that on today, random acts of kindness toward yourself are required as well.

Take a few moments to rejuvinate amidst the chaos.

Take time to center in the present, to bask in “what is” and let “what was” and “what might come to be” quietly recede.

Enjoy receiving and giving today!

Spring!

 

Spring has sprung!

Here we are, greeting a new season. For nature. For ourselves and our lives.

Take a moment, and travel with me. Close eyes if it helps.

Let’s go back to our earliest spring season memories.

Recall what you loved doing on those first warm days.

Imagine as a child how surprised we were to see bushes, grasses, and trees that looked dead suddenly come alive with green and all sorts of flowers.

Take in the smells, sounds, and sights of your spring memories.

Look around to see the people – siblings, neighbors, parents, etc. – who fill out the scene for you.

Stay there for as long as you want.

Spring is truly a magical time in that way – nature shows us that being dormant is far from being dead. The winter is a time to rest and rejuvenate so that spring can bring new life.

Where is it that you want to see new buds grow this spring?

What do you want to see blossom in your life?

Is any pruning back of dead branches needed to spur some of this new growth?

What is going to be your fertilizer and water supply?

May the growth be beautiful and bountiful for each of you, in this spring season!

The YES/NO Exercise

A wonderful Friday to each of you.

Some good friends and I had a conversation this week about the YES/NO Exercise, and I wanted to share this with you all.

For those who feel their plate is too full, or for those whose loved ones tell them so, this is a particularly important exercise.

The premise is simple – when we say YES to things in life, we are also saying NO to other things as a result. In that moment of saying YES to a new commitment, we would do well to think of the question: If I say YES to this, what am I saying NO to at the same time?

The simple truth underlying this: we have a finite amount of time and energy to give to the world, and by saying YES to one thing, we are indeed saying NO to other things.

In our conversation this week, we admitted that we tend to ignore the NO part of the equation entirely, for a variety of reasons. In terms of saying YES to giving more (e.g. signing up for a volunteer cause, agreeing to serve on a board, etc) we feel guilty thinking about the things we would be saying NO to. Things like time with family, self-care, time to pursue a hobby, etc. Those things don’t feed our ego and our need to be relevant in the world in the same way that some of the things we say YES to might, but without these things, we begin to crumble at our core. And the plate gets more and more crowded.

Putting it into practice:

1. Take something that you have said YES to in the last month. List the positives that this YES has had for you.

2. Now, think about what things you gave up by taking this thing on, the things you said NO to.

3. Given what this YES has brought you AND what it has forced you to say NO to, how do you feel about this decision?

This might not come naturally at first – most folks struggle with the NO part of the exercise. I liken the YES/NO Exercise to a muscle; it is going to need to be worked on for it to get stronger.

And its okay if you find yourself resisting. “I can say YES and just become more efficient and therefore don’t have to say NO to anything.” That’s the voice that goes off in my head when I try to rationalize putting more on an already over-filled plate.

I hope this is helpful, and is something you can begin to do more regularly. If you, like me, find yourself looking for more hours in the day to get everything done, I think the issue isn’t the clock – the issue is that we have to get better at saying NO, really weighing out the YES/NO consequences for each thing we commit to.

I think this exercise helps us YES people get better at saying NO.

I have one corollary before I go. Do you have another moment?

When we say NO to things, what are we saying YES to? When I, despite my propensity to say YES to everything, actually say “NO, I can’t take that Saturday commitment on.” I should do the same exercise as above, this time validating what I am saying YES to in that decision. “By saying no to this added commitment, I am giving myself a chance to get my hands in the dirt and plant a garden with my family this spring.”

Now, friends, get to the gym and start building the YES/NO muscle!