Becoming American

We arrived at the Albuquerque Convention Center on a recent Friday morning.

It was a big day for the Kandie family. Janet and Solomon are amazing people who give their energy toward our Albuquerque community – Janice as a nurse and Solomon as an IT guru who works for our city.

Both had worked diligently for over twenty years as Kenyans toward American citizenship. Janice received her citizenship a few months earlier and today was Solomon’s turn. As an accomplished marathon runner, this process was truly his biggest test of endurance.

In typical government speech, the letter to Solomon read:

Walking in, there was an incredible energy in the building.

Languages from across the world being spoken, a beautiful symphony.

Families large and small gathered to similarly mark the end of a long journey toward becoming American.

Some wore attire from their homelands proudly. Others has USA emblazoned gear.

(A funny moment was showing up to surprise Solomon dressed in African dashiki while he dressed in a suit)

I found myself filled with joy as I thought of how each of these individuals have overcome hardships; In their homelands, and right here in the U.S., each of them had to overcome so much to be here.

I thought of the amazing amount of support that each of them needed, from family to legal representation, to make this day a reality.

Solomon is waving his flag as the ceremony begins

I also faced some tough questions:

What does being American mean to me?

Why do I not feel the patriotism that these people in front of me do?

Why do I not feel as proud of my country as I once did?

If I traveled abroad, would I be proud to tell people the country I come from?

Why do I take for granted the un-earned privilege that comes with being a U.S. Citizen?

How do I use my U.S. citizenship to improve the lives of others?

 

I wonder if those questions are meaningful for you, and if so, how we go about answering them for ourselves and together.

I have reflected since that day on how I can become more positive toward my country and the un-realized ideals on which it stands. Recognizing the privileges I have as a U.S. citizen on a regular basis, thinking of people like the Kandies who work for decades just to be counted in this group.

I think my patriotism is expressed more in “we can do better” and finding out how to make it so, and for me those are more important than waving an American flag or wearing red, white and blue gear.

I am convinced that reflecting on what becoming American means for those of us who are U.S. citizens is just as relevant as it was for those in the Convention Center ceremony that day.

Friends of the family from the local running community presented a cake for the 

Kandie family later that evening. A long race was finally done/won!

Revolt Runners

342 years ago today, the most important run ever to take place in this country culminated in the Pueblo Revolt. August 10th, 1680.

This was a run for survival. It was a run to unify peoples who had been subjected to colonizer's violence.

The runners were from the Pueblos of current day New Mexico and were to run to each of the other Pueblo communities with a message that there would be a revolt against the Spanish who had inflicted violence, slavery and horrific acts over the previous 140 years since their arrival.

A cord with knots was given as they arrived, with instructions that each morning one of the knots was to be untied. When there were no further knots left, that was the day to revolt against the Spanish. Po’pay, an Ohkay Owingeh medicine man and leader previously been imprisoned by the Spanish, led what became known as the Pueblo Revolt.

Ethan Gutierrez, a youth from Sandia Pueblo, created this sculpture to honor Po'Pay.

The runners…

I think about some of the distances covered – 20, 30, 50 miles or more. Distances we now traverse in vehicles they accomplished on foot.

I think about some of these runners being youth. I imagine the strength it took and the strength they carried in their bodies, minds, and spirits.

I think of how well the runners must have known the land, their internal compass pointing the way to their destination.

I think about the risk these runners incurred by committing to the run itself. Risks of being caught, as happened to Catua and Omtua, two Tesuque youth runners who were tortured and killed after being captured on their run.

Life-size bronze statue of Catua and Omtua by former Pojoaque Pueblo Gov. George Rivera

I wonder what the runners might they have been thinking as they covered long miles. Were they in prayer during the run? Did they think of the seven Generations to come after them?

For those who are runners, honor them as you run today and this week. Run for them.

For those who work to address injustices and inequities that continue to play out colonization's aims, with Indigenous and other communities of color suffering disproportionately, honor the resistance of August 10th, 1680 as a reminder of what united and coordinated efforts to stand up for justice can achieve.

Footnotes:

The Pueblo Revolt through the eyes of youth. A beautiful spoken word piece “Po’Pay” by the Santa Fe Indian School spoken word team in 2010.

On September 22, 2005, the Po'Pay statue in the rotunda of the U.S. Congress building was unveiled. The artist, Cliff Fragua, was the first American Indian artist to have a statue placed in the Statuary Hall. The statue, slightly larger than life size, shows Po'Pay holding a knotted cord in his left hand, the signal for the initiation of the revolt. In his right hand is a bear fetish and behind him a pot, both symbolizing the Pueblo world and religion. On his back are the scars from the whipping he received as a consequence of his observing Pueblo religious ceremonies. (Source: Wikipedia)

Miracle

Ready to do some math?

Okay, I probably lost most of the potential readers with that first line but for the few sticking around, here goes:

80 beats/min x 60 min = 4800 heartbeats in an hour

4800 x 24 hours = 115,000 heartbeats in a day

115,000 x 188 days so far in 2022 = 22,000,000 heartbeats in 2022.

 

Second item – how do you define “miracle”?

One definition for miracle is this:

“a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.”

Would you define your 4800 heartbeats this hour a miracle?

If not, how about the 115,000 heartbeats that it will take to keep you alive today?

And if that still doesn’t meet your miracle quotient, does 22 million heartbeats this year make the cut?

 

My friends, we have crossed the halfway point of 2022.

Take some time in these next few days to sit quietly and contemplate the miracle of your life journey these last six months.

Give thanks for where the January – June road has taken you. Twnety-two million heartbeats – did you spend your life energy in the way(s) that you want?

Have fun as you think about where the July – December road might go. How do you want to spend these next 22 million heartbeats?

Embrace the bumps in the road as you look behind you. How did each of these strengthen you and teach you about life, about yourself?

Enjoy this moment to pause and be still.

And add two simple thoughts to your meditation:

“22,000,000”

“Miracle”

 

Reporting Live from Quarantine Land

Quarantine Land, New Mexico  – Coming to you live, from a room in my house that my wife says I can’t leave, I bring you greetings and love as we head into Inter-Dependence weekend.

There was an unexpected visitor to our house in the last week.

It was someone we had expected for awhile now. In fact, it is amazing to think that we avoided this visitor for as long as we did.

You know this entity as the nefarious co-author of the Writing to Heal blog. As much as I have tried not to focus on her over the last 2.5 years, she is definitely a big part of why I began to write. Hey, Batman wouldn’t be a hero if he didn’t have Penguin and Joker, right?

COVID has decided to visit the Fleg house.

My wife was the first to test positive for COVID a week ago.

Her body seemed to suddenly stop working. Aches and fatigue. And the isolation didn’t help either, as she had to see life going on without her.

For our family, it was a surreal moment. I had been working the front lines of COVID since the pandemic began, taking care of hospitalized patients and putting my family in COVID’s path. When you live so close to something and yet still manage to avoid it for as long as we did, you begin to dismiss it as something that will never visit your family and home.

Today, feeling a bit under the weather, I decided to take my 3^rd test of the week. As my friend Tom calls it, I took my “male pregnancy test” and indeed it was positive.  

First thoughts after testing positive:

“Yikes”

“I am going out for a run”

“Five days is a long time to isolate!”

COVID gives me a reminder around my own wellness and self-care. I had been really fatigued in hindsight the last few days. But I had reasons that allowed me to explain away my symptoms. I had neglected myself during a long clinic day, with very little fluid intake. I was definitely dehydrated. Second, I have been working so hard in the last month that I felt that the fatigue was my body’s way of saying I needed rest. When my life mimics the symptoms of a disease state, it is a moment to listen and learn.

Luckily, I have 5 days in this room to do so 😊

May your holiday weekend be a safe and joyous one. Celebrate Inter-Dependence, the profound connectedness we share with each other and with the plants/animals/planet.

Back to you in the studio, reporting live from Quarantine Land.

  

Rain is Here!

Showering love

Dampening doubt

Embracing us from all Directions

We reach up

Eyes close

Heart shouts

                                “Rain is here!”

 

¡Escucha! (¡Listen!)

Do you hear our plant relatives singing songs of joy?

For three months they stood tall with faith that this day would come.

They drink with elation.

 

¡Mira! (!Look!)

Do you see the puddles and trickles, hurrying to make it to the river bed that flows once again.

They flow with elation.

 

¡Respira! (¡Breathe!)

Take a deep breath of healing humidity, watching it cover our

Parched

Dry

Cracked

                Airways

                Highways to our sacred space

Absorb the moisture as it embraces you

Drink with elation!

 

¡Despacio! (¡Slow down!)

The rain meditation beckons

    a slow down

                             a re-balancing

                              a pause + reset

as we slow

we renew

as we renew

we heal

 

¡Juega! (¡Play!)

All of this – the listening, looking, breathing, and slowing down – has led us back to the child within

Smile wide 

as you splash puddles of joy

as we splash each other

as love splashes us

                                one drop

                                                    at

                                                                a time.

Thank you to the UNM Curandismo Class that provided the loving environment that allowed today's piece to be birthed. ¡Olmateottl!

Patients Treating Their Doc with Wit and Humor

“My get up and go got up and went.”

I smiled as my patient tried to describe their struggles against fatigue.

I have not written much about the people I get a chance to take care of as a primary care physician, but they continue to inspire, teach, and give to me, one visit at a time.

And when I get handed a jewel like this comment above, those are moments to push all other agenda items aside and smile and laugh together. Moments where division between “patient” and “doctor” dissolve. I have a few other good ones to share with you today.

 

We were talking about his enlarged prostate. I wanted to know how he was doing.

“Let me put it this way. I can no longer write my name in the snow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

The gentleman was dealing with homelessness. He was living in his car and I wanted to check in to see if he had found a safe place for parking the car at night. I asked, “Where is your home right now?” He paused, and with a sly smile said, “It is in the parking lot outside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lauretta, what is your advice for younger people to stay healthy?

“Get some sheep and follow them around.”

The elder described further, “That was our way of life, and the sheep kept me active and away from health problems.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sir, your diabetes has really gotten out of control over these winter months.

“Doc, I am Bear Clan. I hibernated.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quote from a person who was over a year into sobriety from alcohol.

“I look forward to things in life right now. I used to think, “I will do those things when I am older” and would just keep drinking. But then “older” came and went, and I came close to death.

One of the things I am excited to do is to go into the prisons and start running the AA group there. I am going to prison, but the right way!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, if you are someone I get the honor of taking care of as a physician, this piece is for you. It is a way of saying thank you. I hope that I show it with every interaction, without need for words. 

And for moments where I fall short, I ask for your understanding and patience. 

In those instances, it might just be that….my get up and go got up and went 😊

Stop Thinking! Start Praying!

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

I had become quite fatigued, only a few miles into the Run to Break the Silence that was held this past Sunday. The course was challenging indeed – we ran on the foothills trails of Sandia Pueblo with lots of ups and downs. Very few flat sections.

The issue with my fatigue was that I had entered the half marathon. So, at the time I started to think of how nice it would be to go collapse on the side of the road and just cheer on other runners, I had about 9 of the 13 miles still to complete.

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

I said this softly at first. I repeated it a few more times. I began to listen to what I was saying. Within a few minutes, I began to actually practice it.

Now, as I made this switch I had not yet begun the 4+ miles of unrelenting uphill in the race. But I wasn’t thinking anymore as I turned into this section.

I was praying.

I prayed for ones who have crossed over. My dear friend Allen who passed in this last week. 

I prayed for those on healing journeys - Loren, Carrie, and my patients.

I put prayers for Feast Day toward the Sandia Pueblo community.

I began to take in the beauty of the foothills and Sandias. I began to feel the sacred sites that were around us as we ran. I took in the energy of the Ancestors who had lived and prayed and run on this same land.

I gave thanks for being able to move. As the race was to support a school for deaf children, I took in with extra attention the things I was hearing. A gift often taken for granted.

I began to repeat a hip hop line from Black Thought as we kept climbing – “Don’t mistake a mountain for an obstacle.”

Before I knew it, 8 of the 9 miles has passed behind me and my prayers. The finishing stretch was in front of me.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When today gives you an “uphill” moment, try this out yourself:

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!

Doesn’t matter how steep or long the uphill. Whatever your spiritual path, whatever the language in which you feel comfortable giving thanks, try it.

Stop Thinking!

Start Praying!