The 26.2 Healing Journey

From hurt to healing to healed.

From a muscle tear to tearing up the miles once again.

My 6-month journey from a calf tear to today has been a “beautiful struggle”.

I am going to line up this Sunday to run 26.2 miles at the Duke City Marathon, feeling fit and healthy. Ironically, even though this marathon has been centered on coming back from injury, I am the healthiest I have ever been going into race day at this distance. (Marathoners and distance runners have very accurately been called “the healthiest group of injured people in the world”)

Had a patient of mine said, “Doc, what do you think about me coming off the injured list to run a marathon?” I surely would have done all I could to knock some sense into them. Maybe a psychiatry referral as well.

But, luckily, I have not been to the doctor in these last months.

As I ran in the liminal space between day and night this morning, I reflected on the larger life lessons these last months have given me. I will share a few of those here with you. I trust that they can support your healing journey.

Lesson #1 – Activating your healing journey is the hardest step

After months of limping around, I began to try short runs at very slow pace. It was hard on many levels. The calf still gave me pain that made me question if I was really ready to run again. The runs on a body that was out of shape were a mix of humbling and humiliating. When we are hurt, we have become stagnant because of that injury. Moving toward wellness begins with those first slow and timid steps.

Lesson #1A – The most important part of healing is not crossing the finish line, but rather, crossing the starting line

When I look at the last 18 weeks of running, it was crossing the starting line (e.g. starting to run again) that was the critical moment. In doing so, I was proclaiming to life and myself that I believed in my healing. Before that moment, I was holding onto my injured status. And beyond that, well, everything flows once we believe in our healing.

Lesson #2 – Learn to ignore the things that do not matter

As a runner, you can fill your mind with lots of numbers and metrics for your training. Pace per mile. Miles per week. Coming back from injury made me slightly better at seeing the bigger picture (“Wow, I am running again. Grateful to be out here!”) and better at ignoring meaningful stuff that does not matter (“Darn, that last interval was 3 seconds too slow”)

Lesson #3 – Put yourself around healing energy

It was a silly thought. I was very early in my training, but showed up in the foothills where some elite runners were doing a hill workout. I knew that I was not going to run with them, but a voice inside me said “Just go”. I think it the voice of wisdom, telling me that I needed to get around people who would remind me of where I was headed, helping me to forget where I had been. I continued to seek people who could help me heal in these last months – from physical therapy to Running Medicine friends to Solomon, Keenan, Chris and others. Injury isolates us. Healing requires us to connect back with those around us.

Lesson #4 – Shout your vision to the world (even if it comes out as a whisper)

It was a family vacation in July when I first uttered the words, “I might even run a marathon this fall.” I remember saying it in a whisper, not believing yet that this was more than a laughable hallucination. There is power in our words, and even more power when we share with others what our vision for healing looks like. What are you ready to shout out to the world?

 

 

My friends and relatives, brothers and sisters,

I embrace this healing journey with joy and gratitude. Thank you for listening and may it allow you, in some way, to move from hurt to healing to healed.

I will run for all of you.

I will run for all who cannot run.

I will run for healing.

Solomon and me, on a last tempo run along the race course. He pretended to breathe hard on the run, which was quite slow for his pace.