“They don’t
have the bandwidth to dream because their reality is a nightmare.”
Dr. Jamal
Harrison Bryant made this remark to a room of 600 as the keynote speaker for
this week’s Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr Community Commemorative Breakfast. The
room was a “who’s who” of Black leaders, including elected officials, business
leaders, and elders. The room was a celebration of Black Excellence in a way
that I rarely see in my life, on my campus, and in this country.
But Dr. Bryant
was not there to congratulate those in the room.
In essence, he
was asking how those present were going to step up and make a difference for
those whose reality was far different.
“So you’ve come
up. Now what? Who are you bringing up with you?” he asked. (my paraphrase)
It is a critical question for all of us.
For instance,
how we can do more to support our elders. Being a pastor, Dr. Bryant asked the
question of church leaders why there were not elder/senior ministries akin to
youth ministries, pointing out that senior citizens outnumber all other demographic groups in our country. He urged churches to talk about dementia and the complexities
that face elders, not to shy away from them.
“If Dr. King
were alive today, he would be 95 years old. Would he feel left out and forgotten,
an elder ignored and discarded?” asked Bryant (again, my paraphrase)
For myself, and
for all of us, let us spend some time with the question:
How can we take
our talents, experience, energy and resources to support those whose reality is
a nightmare? How can we take our success and translate and transfer it to those
who need it most?
Let us create
space to meditate on this question today.
In closing, I
will share a parallel quote that has been a foundation for my life from Dr.
King:
“Everybody can be great...because anybody can
serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make
your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A
soul generated by love.”
As Dr. Bryant spoke, our youngest daughter, Sihasin, drew this gem.
I listened over these last weeks, hearing patients, friends,
and family members talk about what they are seeking over the winter holidays.
To summarize what I have heard in one word:
Silence.
I hear a need to quiet the chatter and clamor, internal and external.
In a world addicted to noise, where every moment is
furiously filled with sound, our bodies yearn for that space where we can again
hear our breath breathing life.
Where will you find silence in these next weeks?
How will you actively create space for silence?
What do your traditions teach you about silence?
What sound does silence have for you?
I can remember one of my first conversations with silence.
I
was on the Navajo Nation for the first time, seeing a landscape that was
completely new to me. I knew cities and highways and constant noise, but I
lacked an appreciation for the vastness of the desert. I was on a run
(surprise!) and had gotten far from town and suddenly silence was upon me.
Silence became stillness.
I stopped moving to commune with what I was hearing.
And I was indeed hearing something.
Silence was loud, in a sense.
It was a life force pressing upon malleus, incus and stapes
(bones of the ear).
Silence, I discovered, was not the absence of sound, but the
presence of something. Myself. The Divine. Life speaking to me, frustrated that
I had drowned it out with so much noise.
I bowed, asking for forgiveness, and continued to listen.
Stillness.
Silence.
Heartbeat pounding.
Eyes taking in the mesas before me.
My relatives, look for ways to invite silence in over these
next weeks.
Know that she wants to be invited into your sphere.
She has been waiting patiently for you to seek her out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few thoughts for your journey with silence…
Get outside and find silence in a place you have wanted to
explore.
Curl up with a pen and paper and write. Or doodle.
After busy days with family, make time and space for silence
before resting head to pillow.
Go screen-free for a period of time. (Try this with everyone
in your house)
I will share a personal
practice that I do each winter break that has been quite helpful in this quest.
I shut off my phone for 9-10 days, understanding that these devices create much of
the noise in our lives. After a first day where there is a legitimate withdrawal
symptoms (as with any addictive substance taken away), I notice how things
slow. My thinking slows. My ability to be present improves.
John Cage produced a piece 4'33'' in which the musicians are instructed to sit in silence with their instruments for the duration of the piece. As Mr. Cage says, "Everything we do is music". This is a performance of 4'33''.
Debbie struggled with a deluge of negative thoughts.
She asked me for ideas. I didn’t have much to offer.
Searching for herself, she figured out the simplest of
answers.
At her next visit, I asked her how she was doing with the
thoughts.
“Much better.”
“Really? Tell me more.”
“The thoughts are still there, but when something negative
pops into my mind, I pause.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“But that’s not it. After the pause, I ask myself ‘I wonder
what my next thought is going to be?’ It gives me a chance to see the thought
as an observer so that I am not consumed by it. I might even smile as I come up
with a few possibilities to answer the question, ‘What will come next in my stream
of thoughts?’”
“I knew you would come up with the answer, Debbie.”
She smiled.
The sacred pause.
An invitation to sit with discomfort as opposed to reacting
to it.
Observing as opposed to consuming.
Jumping to the shore instead of going with the current of negativity.
A chance to center again as opposed to being toppled.
“Today is going to be a horrible day.”
Pause.
Deep breath.
“I wonder what my next thought is going to be.”
“Maybe that I am going to be fired today even though I know my
boss supports me?” Smile.
“Or is my next thought going to be about that report I am
having trouble completing? I could see my brain coming up with that one.”
“Was I going to have a thought about that stressful
conversation from last week that I can’t seem to let go of?”
“Wait, what was the negative thought I had a few moments
ago??”
Try out the sacred pause today.
Share it with others.
Debbie, thank you for answering your own question in a such a
beautiful way.
Thank you for allowing me to share it with these amazing people!
My patient shared her perspective on life and health in these
six simple words.
Not some days, but each day.
The act of looking, a reminder that we are active participants, not passive recipients, of our journey, of
our healing.
Joy.
Not happiness. Joy.
Not elation. Joy.
Not drama or discord. Joy.
A moment to consider what we choose to seek today and
everyday.
How does seeking joy differ from seeking happiness?
“Even though we may seek it, desire it, pursue it, etc.,
feeling happiness is not a choice we make. Joy, on the other hand, is a choice
purposefully made.” (courtesy of Compassion
International)
Another perspective: “Happiness comes from things happening.
It is circumstantial. Joy is about where your confidence lies. Where is your
confidence when things are not going your way?” (Purpose
City Church)
Cultivate joy, brothers and sisters.
If you have lost touch with joy, give her a ring today. (She
always picks up when we call)
Find a person next to you and share your joy with them. And
then be open to them sharing similarly. Joy, like most of life, is best
experienced with others, in community.
Each day, I look for joy.
May it be so.
A pic that is joy to me. It is rain clouds and water and transition and brilliant colors. All offering us different medicine. I took this a few weeks ago on the shore of the Rio Grande.
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