Silence

I listened over these last weeks, hearing patients, friends, and family members talk about what they are seeking over the winter holidays.

To summarize what I have heard in one word:

Silence.

I hear a need to quiet the chatter and clamor, internal and external.

In a world addicted to noise, where every moment is furiously filled with sound, our bodies yearn for that space where we can again hear our breath breathing life.

Where will you find silence in these next weeks?

How will you actively create space for silence?

What do your traditions teach you about silence?

What sound does silence have for you?

 

I can remember one of my first conversations with silence. 

I was on the Navajo Nation for the first time, seeing a landscape that was completely new to me. I knew cities and highways and constant noise, but I lacked an appreciation for the vastness of the desert. I was on a run (surprise!) and had gotten far from town and suddenly silence was upon me.

Silence became stillness.

I stopped moving to commune with what I was hearing.

And I was indeed hearing something.

Silence was loud, in a sense.

It was a life force pressing upon malleus, incus and stapes (bones of the ear).

Silence, I discovered, was not the absence of sound, but the presence of something. Myself. The Divine. Life speaking to me, frustrated that I had drowned it out with so much noise.

I bowed, asking for forgiveness, and continued to listen.

Stillness.

Silence.

Heartbeat pounding.

Eyes taking in the mesas before me.

 

 

My relatives, look for ways to invite silence in over these next weeks.

Know that she wants to be invited into your sphere.

She has been waiting patiently for you to seek her out.

 

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A few thoughts for your journey with silence…

Get outside and find silence in a place you have wanted to explore.

Curl up with a pen and paper and write. Or doodle.

After busy days with family, make time and space for silence before resting head to pillow.

Go screen-free for a period of time. (Try this with everyone in your house)

I will share a personal practice that I do each winter break that has been quite helpful in this quest. I shut off my phone for 9-10 days, understanding that these devices create much of the noise in our lives. After a first day where there is a legitimate withdrawal symptoms (as with any addictive substance taken away), I notice how things slow. My thinking slows. My ability to be present improves.

John Cage produced a piece 4'33'' in which the musicians are instructed to sit in silence with their instruments for the duration of the piece. As Mr. Cage says, "Everything we do is music". This is a  performance of 4'33''.

The Sacred Pause

Debbie struggled with a deluge of negative thoughts.

She asked me for ideas. I didn’t have much to offer.

Searching for herself, she figured out the simplest of answers.

At her next visit, I asked her how she was doing with the thoughts.

“Much better.”

“Really? Tell me more.”

“The thoughts are still there, but when something negative pops into my mind, I pause.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“But that’s not it. After the pause, I ask myself ‘I wonder what my next thought is going to be?’ It gives me a chance to see the thought as an observer so that I am not consumed by it. I might even smile as I come up with a few possibilities to answer the question, ‘What will come next in my stream of thoughts?’”

“I knew you would come up with the answer, Debbie.”

She smiled.

 

The sacred pause.

An invitation to sit with discomfort as opposed to reacting to it.

Observing as opposed to consuming.

Jumping to the shore instead of going with the current of negativity.

A chance to center again as opposed to being toppled.

 

“Today is going to be a horrible day.”

Pause.

Deep breath.

“I wonder what my next thought is going to be.”

“Maybe that I am going to be fired today even though I know my boss supports me?” Smile.

“Or is my next thought going to be about that report I am having trouble completing? I could see my brain coming up with that one.”

“Was I going to have a thought about that stressful conversation from last week that I can’t seem to let go of?”

“Wait, what was the negative thought I had a few moments ago??”

 

Try out the sacred pause today.

Share it with others.

Debbie, thank you for answering your own question in a such a beautiful way.

Thank you for allowing me to share it with these amazing people!

 

Gifting

The 1^st day of the last month of this year.

31 days to close out 2023.

From a heart perspective, 3 million heartbeats to get us to 2024.

For some, the best part of the year. For others, the hardest time of the year.

 

What is it that you need at this moment?

If you were to gift yourself with something for your own wellness, what would it be?

Quiet time each morning?

Reading for pleasure each evening?

Rekindling a friendship?

Reinvigorated spiritual practice?

Reintegration with community?

Journaling?

Movement?

 

Commercials will do their best to get us to listen to them as they tell us what we need and what we should buy for everyone in our lives. 

They feed into the pressures of the holiday season to buy things to show how much we care about the people in our lives. 

The implication is that with this new thing they want us to buy for $199.99, we will find contentment and joy. Ditto for the people we gift.

 

Brothers and sisters,

Turn off that noise.

Close your eyes.

Listen to stillness.

Listen to silence.

Listen to life.

Listen 

            to the soft rhythm of your own breath.

Listen 

            to the beautiful beat of the heart in your chest.

Keep listening.

You will see that what you need in these last 31 days of 2023 cannot be bought.

Start there and give freely and unconditionally to yourself.

Let that self-care ground your gifting to others.