Smiling Again

This Monday morning, a wonderful thing greeted me as I opened the door to see my first patient of the day.

A smile! Bright and beautiful, and…with no mask to cover it up.

On my end, I was able to give a smile that had not been seen in my clinical work since March of 2020.

Over three years. 1,133 calendar days ago to be exact. Over a thousand times that the sun had risen and then set.

On April 17^th, UNM took off the requirement that masks must be worn in our clinical settings.

“My face feels naked,” I kept saying throughout the day. It was surreal to see patients faces again. And to be able to share mine.

About a year ago, as the pandemic dragged on like a movie with an inadequate budget for editing (“Where is this thing going? The exciting stuff already happened in the first 30 minutes.”), I made a conscious decision to stop waiting for masks to go away. 

I resigned myself to doing masked medicine for a while longer. I tried to forget how much I enjoyed seeing people’s smiles and expressions. I even stopped wondering or worrying about what stories and connections were missing beneath our face coverings. 

I got used to trying to comfort people who were crying or expressing deep emotion – the eyes becoming the one part of the face left with which I could read and respond.

There was an article pre-pandemic that reported "Science has shown that the mere act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, boost your immune system and possibly even prolong your life."

But what if you know others can't see the smile you are trying to express. And what happened to the similar benefits of seeing others smile during these COVID years?

Now, I am able to see those beautiful smiles again. Equally excited to share my smiles with the folks who call me their doctor.

It brings me back to my first time seeing patients via virtual visits five months into the pandemic, having done exclusively phone visits until that point.

Don’t get me wrong – I am thankful for what masked life represents. Doing the best we can to protect each other, adjusting to a new normal.

But man, is it great to see people – all of them – again.

Enjoy smiling today. My wife always reminds that it is simplest way to give to others.

And enjoy receiving smiles in return. Each time, you are receiving a wonderful, unmasked gift.

Directions

As an expert in the art of daddying, I decided it was time to teach my 5 year-old Sihasin about the cardinal directions. We were on our sweet spray-painted daddy-daughter bike and it went something like this:

Dad: Let’s talk about opposites. What’s the opposite of down?

Sihasin: Up

Dad: And what’s the opposite of cold?

Sihasin: Hot

Dad: Okay, well when we face toward the mountains, we are going east. And when we face away from the mountains, we are going west. East and west are opposites. Got it.

Sihasin: Got it, dad.

Dad: So, when we bike this way, toward the mountains, which way are we going?

Sihasin: Straight.

Mic drop. (Or bike drop? Dad joke!)

 

As you can see, being a daddying “expert” does not mean my children will give me the answer I am looking for. Rather, an expert simply becomes less surprised when answers like “straight” are given.

Daddy knew to smile and resist the urge to correct. Instead, I spent a few moments quieting my inner voice that was saying “wrong answer” before it could rise to an audible response.

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Today, life may give you a similarly surprising answer. An answer that at first seems completely wrong.

But maybe it is completely right.

Maybe it is a moment to find space and place to listen…

And then listen deeper to what the answer and the person giving the answer may be saying.

It may be life sharing a gem that you need.

And when you walk/run/bike/dance toward the beautiful Sandia mountains today, remember Sihasin’s teaching: You are heading straight.

Heart Medicine

 

Shijei (my heart)

I hear you beating life’s drum

Can you see and feel me?

 

100,000 times today, you will       beat

                                                     beautyway

                                                     synchrony

                                                     symphony

100,000 times today, I will be reminded how fragile life is.

Will I slow enough

                                                2

                                                                listen?

100,000 times today, a double beat representing    4 valves

                4 chambers

                             (timing their efforts perfectly in the)           4 Directions

                                                                                                        pumping life my way

Shijei,

I bow in gratitude and reverence.

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The Colors that Speak Words is a collaboration that explores how visual and poetry art translate and transform one another. 

Mallery Quetawki (visual artist) and Anthony (poet) take pieces that each other has done and respond with art/poetry. 

In the piece above, Mallery is responding to Anthony’s poem. 

A larger exhibition of The Colors That Speak Words will be coming to the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, with opening reception Friday, June 9^th. This show will include another poet Chilan Mustain and a calligrapher Blythe Mariano.

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Today, find a piece of art or a place in nature that speaks to you. Get out a writing utensil and begin to translate and transform that scene into words. Or vice versa - make art to a piece of writing that inspires you.