A Letter to our Pandemic Selves

“The pandemic is over.”

Those words from President Biden in a “60 Minutes” interview last week are a bit startling to all of us.

He added in that interview, “We still have a problem with Covid. We’re still doing a lot of work on it. But the pandemic is over.”

I am less interested in debating the science or politics of this proclamation, and more focused on what that means for you and me to say the pandemic is in our rear-view mirror.

Are we ready to let go of a pandemic mindset?

And what does ‘letting go’ actually mean?

How has the pandemic affected our connections with those around us?

Are there habits we have learned in the pandemic that we now need to un-learn in a post-pandemic world?

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I decided to write a letter to “Pandemic Anthony” as a way to answer some of these questions, and I encourage you to do the same for yourself.

 

Pandemic Anthony,

        I am waving good-bye. Thanks for 2+ years in which you did the best you could to make sense of it all, trying to live fully even when COVID made that really challenging. I bet you remember when even running on the ditches became a game of avoidance as people went out of their way to move far away from one another. Do you remember getting yelled at for violating folks’ 6-foot bubble as you passed them on the trails, wearing a mask and all? I am sure all of this did affect you and now, as we wave goodbye to you, it is a chance to try to notice how to re-engage fully. I know this has affected whether I give hugs or am open to receiving them. I know it has turned a part of me into being wary of being in close proximity with others, but I now need to push that comfort zone and not let this become an excuse to dis-connect.

Post-Pandemic Anthony will need to do this with care for others, knowing that all of us carry trauma from the last years that is going to change how we interact with one another in the next years. Where is that space for us to have conversations about how COVID has affected us and how to navigate these changes, how to heal together? How is Post-Pandemic Anthony going to create space for himself, with his family and with his community to do this vital healing work? Wait, I thought I was supposed to be answering questions, not asking them…

Pandemic Anthony, I want to share gratitude and love before I let you go. I could look at you and these years as “lost” but that would ignore all of the good you helped bring to my life. I want to validate the ways you stood strong and donned PPE to serve COVID patients. I appreciate the efforts you made to create community in a new landscape, never letting go of the importance of bringing people together, virtual or otherwise. I honor the loss you and the rest of humanity endured during COVID.

I need to love you Pandemic Anthony, and will make time and space to do so. I know that this is the only way to let you go and to begin the next journey.

With Love,

Post-Pandemic Anthony

Fun with Inedible Berries

The neighborhood children, including a few of my own, went on a bike ride. A chance for them to play together amidst our busy lives where neighbors whiz by each other, interactions limited to waving from the car to one another.

I was deemed responsible enough to chaperone the trip.

We voted on where to go and they decided we should head to the park.

We arrived, parking our bikes at the playground area of the park.

I knew my role as a chaperone. I was to leave them alone to play, now that my part of transporting them here was complete.

I sat and took a few deep breaths, wondering if we were now at the age where playgrounds would cease to provide the joyful exploration they had when these kids were younger.

I looked up to see that the children had another idea entirely.

They were huddled next to a tree with inedible berries, spontaneously creating a game in which they would each have 5 lives and would try to hit each other with the berries. Eat hit took away a life. Influenced by video games? Probably. In my mind, it was like paintball without the messiness.

For the next 30 minutes, I watched as the game progressed. Additional rules were proposed. The group figured out how to include many different age and athletic levels to have a fair shot at winning. They grumbled when I said it was time to go home. As a chaperone, ending the fun is one of your core duties.

Even though we shower our children with technology and all sorts of gadgets, their imaginations remain their best tool for play. Give a child dirt, sand, a stick, or some inedible berries and they naturally go to work making play happen.

Adults, here is our mission today, taking the kids’ lead:

1) Get to a park or similarly serene place, leaving your phone and all other technology behind.

2) Find inedible berries or something else that you can enjoy as a kid would – feel its texture, look at its fine details

3) (Optional) Gather random adults within earshot and propose the game of “throw the berries at each other”

Arlene's Journey

Writing as a way to process

Writing as a way to create community.

Writing as a way to speak truths.

Writing as a way to speak our own truth.

Writing to heal.

 

The journey has been a beautiful one, 30 months long. With a group of people who have created their own space through this blog. A few contemplating writing their own books as a result.

Our sister Arlene Espinoza-Armijo invoked the Writing to Heal energy in a heartfelt post last week. To me, it was a moment that made me realize that the larger purpose for this project and blog is to inspire others to find space of their own. To empower others to find their voice and then use it. And today is a chance for me to step aside and let her voice ring through this medium.

Arlene and her husband Jesse are an amazing couple who serve our ABQ community relentlessly, have been trying to have a child for some time. Let me stop there, and instead let Arlene’s words do the talking…show your love and support by posting a comment on the blog!

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This past month has been one of the hardest, most revealing, and affirming months ever. I celebrated a birthday, I launched new products into the world with my business partner, created events, traveled, spent time with amazing humans and heard their stories, watched my nieces and nephews grow and play sports, ran a ton of miles, and @jessearmijo & I experienced a miscarriage.

We have been fighting to grow our family for what feels like an eternity now and like so many #fertility stories ours hit a bump and left me feeling like I might not get up this time. I’ve grappled with sharing this so publicly for a while now, but as we’ve navigated the rocky terrain of grief, I’ve realized, that these types of stories need to be shared. We need to normalize talking about #fertility & #miscarriages & #grief & #therapy with our families, friends, and community. And not gloss over it or pay attention to these real-life realities when a celebrity shares their truth or when laws threaten our safety. These experiences are part of our intricate, complicated, and beautiful lives, therefore deserving of space and dialogue.

As someone who prides myself on honesty & authenticity, and lives for connection with others - I cannot hide behind the shadow of my current reality, my grief, my complicated yet abundantly beautiful life, continuing to smile and act like things are a-okay! Because that would be a lie and that would be inauthentic to who I am.

So, I am here, sharing my vulnerable truth. Hoping that in these sentences those who feel heartbroken, sad, misunderstood, and disappointed will know that your stories, your sadness, and your truth, are allowed to take up space. You don’t have to push down the hard stuff to accommodate others - feel what you need to and reach out to others for support.

Life is hard and can be messy but keep putting one foot in front of the next and breathe. I am holding space for you and me - and if you ever need a friend to sit with you in the messy parts, I am here. 🤍

All my love.
#writingtoheal